Persistent Thoughts

Invite your mind to tea and listen to what it needs.

You notice another one of those annoying thoughts arise, perhaps having realized that it is the underlying driver for a non-beneficial habit or reaction that you desperately want to remove. But how do you actually get rid of it?

Sadhguru often remarks that if you are sweet inside, then your thoughts, emotions, behaviours etc will also be sweet. Relatedly, Ajahn Brahm (the Abbott at the Buddhist Society of Western Australia) likes to encourage us to invite our mind to tea and treat it with ‘kindfulness’. Following the vein of these ideas, ‘getting rid of’ or ‘removing’ ‘annoying’ thoughts is not the place to start.

Firstly, congratulate yourself for diagnosing the repetition of thoughts that are likely manifesting in the patterns of behaviours and actions that are not serving you. Many people go about their lives as slaves to their habituated patterns; proverbially eating their own tails while going around in circles.

Secondly, appreciate that it took some time for momentum to build up in these persistent thoughts, and it might take a while to unwind it. But it all starts with this clarity of what is really going on.

For the mind to become ‘sweet’ and malleable, it needs to gain your trust, from you, the leader and the observer. This may be new to you as you realize that ‘you’ are not the mind. And this is certainly the topic of another post...

As the leader - or manager - of your mind, you will further enjoy the understanding that the mind is not likely to befriend you and become your best ally if you want to ‘get rid’ of it, or call it ‘annoying’. The mind of some persons may behave differently, perhaps being more open to negative reinforcement or militant-like approaches - but this is uncommon and the topic of yet another post. In general, the mind needs to be treated with unconditional love first and foremost; it wants to be heard and seen. The mind is generally made up of several archetypes - or room-mates - each with their respective needs and demands.

Inviting your mind to tea and having a conversation with it is the first step of integration and transformation. It may further help to imagine the mind as your inner landscape - what kind of landscape would you design that fosters healing, joy, productivity, love, kindness, etc.? If you want to emit other values (like playfulness, entertainment... or even heavy metal!) that’s ok too, but you need to make sure that you are providing your mind what it needs, so that your thoughts, behaviours and actions are aligned with want you want.